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Bonkers Blog May 2011

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29 May (Part 3) - Mary thinks it’s funny

Mary Portas - Mary Queen of Shops Bexley’s Town Centre Manager says he has asked the government’s newly appointed Shopping Czar, Mary Portas to take a look at Bexleyheath. His plan is to get businesses to chip in 1.15% of their business rates to fund “markets, events and (ominously) wardens”. 239 businesses will be balloted to see if they think it’s a good idea. It’s not known what Ms. Portas, otherwise known as Mary Queen of Shops, thinks of the idea but seeing her go head to head with Peter surveillance King of Bus Stops might be fun.

King Craske’s parking price hikes are “driving people away from local shops”. It is very bad to be “blatantly exploiting the needs of people to park by hiking the charges many times above the rate of inflation”. Who said that? None other than Conservative councillor Colin Tandy so it must be true!

Source : News Shopper news archive kindly resurrected by Orpington reader Derek A. Note how a Labour councillor said “the money raised may also be used to meet cuts in this year’s council budget”. They all come out with the same tired excuses.


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