17 May (Part 2) - Bexley’s new mayor. An aggressive start
The
mid-May council meeting is not like others, its prime purpose is to elect the
new mayor and rubber stamp the minutes of all the sub-committee
AGMs. It is unlike the others in style too; whereas a
regular council meeting offers the spectacle of politicians portraying
themselves as clowns, last night’s offered third rate comedians trying to be
funny. We learned nothing of note except that new mayor Alan Downing likes to
dress up as a Spice Girl. Scary Spice might be appropriate if his debut was anything to go by.
When I arrived there were 48 people in the gallery, adoring Spice Girl fans
presumably and the numbers eventually grew to about 60. They were warned by the
outgoing mayor Sams that they weren't allowed to photograph or video the proceedings
and this was to ensure the public was protected. Once a liar always a liar. The
formalities were that councillor Colin Campbell proposed the new appointment and
councillor Sawyer seconded it. Councillor Ross Downing would become mayoress and
the Beckwiths were proposed for deputy mayor and mayoress. There was a vote and all the Conservatives
raised their hands while from the Labour group only three arms were clearly
outstretched, those of councillors Ball, Persaud and Boateng.
A game of musical chairs then followed in which outgoing mayor Sams disappeared
to be replaced ten minutes later by Alan Downing complete with Captain Jack Sparrow
black hat. He announced that his chosen charity would be Action on Hearing Loss to make amends for
his bad tempered assault upon deaf people… No of course he
didn’t. He chose two. Diabetes UK (Bexley Support Group) and Help for Heroes.
After a number of speeches to say how brilliant everyone is, the festivities
ended at 20:37 when the real business, such as it was, began.
This essential business consisted of the chairman of each of the
sub-committees popping up like so many Jacks in the
Box to ask for the minutes of their AGMs to be approved. The mayor said there
must be no votes against so all the Tories dutifully ticked the appropriate box
while the Labour group, by and large, abstained.
All
went according to plan until councillor Cheryl Bacon asked that her Public
Realm minutes be approved. Councillor Munir Malik said that the minutes did not
reflect the meeting accurately and objected. If you cast your mind back to the
beginning of April and
the report on that meeting you will see that councillor Malik asked to see a
copy of a survey being discussed but which was unavailable for anyone to see.
Chairman Cheryl said he couldn’t have it and councillor ‘Biffa’ Bailey
said he was rude for asking.
Councillor Malik revealed that the report was called ‘Town Centres Realities
Check Report’ and to get a copy he had to resort to the Freedom of Information
Act. Can you imagine it? Bexley council is so secretive that its Conservative
chairman of the Public Realm committee will not let a Labour member know what is
going on? Councillor Malik was aggrieved that the minutes white-washed chairman
Cheryl Bacon’s ridiculous affront to democracy.
Scary Spice raised his voice as if he was addressing a deaf man and told
councillor Malik that he must not speak unless he raised his hand and was
invited to do so. He also went out of his way to insult and belittle the
councillor by referring to him as Mr. Malik.
When
councillor Malik raised his hand and was invited to speak he rose to his feet only to be told
to sit down when he asked councillor Cheryl Bacon if she was denying the events he had
described took place. Clearly they did occur but Cheryl could not bring herself to admit that
her minutes were not a true account. Jabber Downing called for a vote and scored his first
significant victory over Bexley council’s great enemy, Truth and Transparency. He sanctioned
falsifying the minutes of a meeting to protect another Spice Girl. Ginger.
Councillor Malik was not happy and nor was the small section of the audience
which wasn’t part of Downing’s personal entourage. Malik rose again to his feet
and said he “did not feel the Standing Orders should have been subverted“ in
this way. Jabber Downing bellowed back that Mr. Malik should sit down. No
hearing loop system was required even for the most profoundly deaf. There was no Help for this Hero.
Councillor Gareth Bacon then waded in, no doubt incensed that his wife’s lack of
integrity was exposed for all reasonable men to see. He said a vote had been
taken and that was the end of the matter. The minutes were now the official record
of events. He indicated councillor Malik should sit down and shut up. Scary Spice
bellowed his agreement. His performance is in stark contrast to his rather dull
predecessor and I am looking forward to reporting on his antics again. I expect he is already poring over
the elusive Constitutional Review
to see how he might exploit the rules that permit him to ban anyone from any meeting on any pretext.
The meeting ended at 20:52.