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Bonkers Blog February 2018

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Old Farm

23 February (Part 2) - Utility companies. Each one as useless as the next

When I mentioned my Thames Water survey last weekend it provoked quite a lot of comment, none of it in favour of Thames Water. They have since sent me their official report. What a load of old sewage.

They say I could halve my water usage and save 32,874 litres of water a year. How?
Apparently I could reduce shower water use by half. I told them it was never used.

Bath usage could be reduced by a quarter. I told them mine is never more than index finger deep. What do they want me to do, use it only once a week?

Apparently I could reduce use of the bathroom basin by a massive 90%. I only use it for shaving once a day and washing my hands after use of the toilet. There is no scope whatsoever for reduced usage.

Toilet use could be very nearly halved. What do they want me to do? Pee in the sink?

Kitchen sink use could be reduced by exactly 50%. Not sure how. I bought a smaller plastic bowl and tend to save evening washing up until morning.

Thames Water’s survey is total nonsense, it’s enough to make me go and buy a pressure washer for the front drive. I’d suggest that if TW offers you a survey, just ignore them.

Speaking of useless utility companies, I dumped Scottish Power as my energy provider last month, today I received my final bill. It is for precisely nothing. What is the chance of my meter reading cancelling my previous credit balance so precisely? Slim to vanishing I would think. I must try to find time to check the arithmetic.

Beware blatant plug!

I switched energy supply to which doesn’t offer a long term fixed tariff but their current rate was only 75% of the cheapest that Scottish Power could offer me. No penalties for leaving either and best of all a £50 bonus for introducing new customers. £50 for the new customer too!

At £50 a go you could fund my current legal bills. Use


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