week or so ago I learned that the Mayor of London is coming to the Crook Log Sports Centre next Thursday.
A chance to ask about his plans his website says. I didn’t
feel inclined to go, firstly I was already signed up for a pub quiz that
night and secondly I probably wouldn’t have the courage to nudge him into the deep end of the pool.
However my friend Elwyn phoned and twisted my arm to go with him. I did him a favour and booked two tickets on line, ploughed through the interminable questions and gave them my contact@bexley-is-bonkers email address. At the end of the process the website said it would email me one ticket, not the two I had asked for.
Nothing showed up, it still hasn’t more than a day later.
I told Elwyn he was going to have to book his own tickets and one for me too please.
The same has happened to him. Filled in the application form, it told him one ticket was on its way and then nothing.
Maybe the same has happened to you but will it be worth tearing yourself away from home anyway?
Taxpayer: What have you done to improve passenger safety on the buses?
Sadiq: I have cancelled quite a few routes.
Taxpayer: Have you improved safety on the Tube?
Sadiq: Yes, I have stopped you staring at girls in yellow bikinis so that you will not wander absent mindedly on to the track.
Taxpayer: Are you doing anything to improve road safety?
Sadiq: Yes lots. I have stopped you parking your car at your new expensive block of flats and I am going to stop poor people from driving closer to London than the Woolwich Ferry.
Taxpayer: When will Elizabeth line services begin?
Sadiq: I have no idea but honestly, it is not my fault. You are welcome to continue to pay the premium prices charged by Southeastern.
Taxpayer: Are you tackling knife crime?
Sadiq: Yes definitely. I will shortly announce the closure of Robert Dyas shops.
Taxpayer: Is that all?
Sadiq: What else am I supposed to do until my PR department comes up with a decent slogan?
Taxpayer: How do you justify a near 9% increase in the Council Tax Precept this year?
Sadiq: I got away with it last year so why not and I have boosted the wage bill by nearly 100% in the last two years. Not many Mayors could do that. Can I go now?
Taxpayer: Yes please and don’t come back.
There, you don’t have to go now do you? We can all go down the pub.